Oasis Live ‘25 Toronto
Emily and I arrived at our hotel around 8 o’clock in the evening to the sound of planes and 97.7 FM, Toronto’s rock station. With the beautiful Niagara Falls in our rear view, the adventure had begun.
Downtown Toronto on a My Chemical Romance, Nine Inch Nails, Oasis weekend was a sight to see on its own. Not to mention their national exposition and some sort of cosplay event, there were characters everywhere. Emily navigated the city like she lived there, and if you can believe it, put up with me the whole time. We did the CN Tower and in the queue met a wonderful couple that was also there for the show. They asked if we had seen them before, I said I saw them with my dad when I was at the University of Toledo and jaws dropped. They live a mile from campus and his name was Justin, I’m not making this up. On the observation floor of CN Tower, Neil Young’s, “Rockin’ in the Free World” was playing.
After the tower, we did a tour on Lake Ontario on a former Amsterdam canal boat. We chatted with the captain who was an actor, and during the only radio portion of the tour, “Wonderwall” came on the speakers. After that, I closed the hotel bar (it closed at 11) with an affable British couple that were my parents age, Leeds United fans, and had Monday tickets. The bartender poured an unknown number of free Molsons for the lads, Oasis was in the air everywhere, Facebook friends were made.
Day of show we went to the pop-up merch shop where we killed two and half hours with five other fans in line that couldn’t have been better. We swapped stories, jokes, favorite songs and pondered upon which live version of, “Slide Away” was the best. The youngest of us was in a Manchester United jersey that he was bravely wearing to the show, so we talked soccer too. I didn’t see a single thread of Toronto FC gear on the entire trip, but just as we were the next people in line, I get a tap on my left shoulder. It was a Columbus Crew fan. We shared a, “Glory to Columbus” back and forth and he was on his way, not looking back in anger.
Then there was the main course, Oasis at the temporary stadium on an old airport runway. It was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Better than, “Goodfellas” or “The Big Lebowski.” Better than Foo Fighters or Weezer or the last time I saw them in 2008. Better than Tiger Woods winning another Masters, or any of Columbus’ three MLS Cups. Cage the Elephant was a good opener who became a great opener when they started to play, “Sweet Home Alabama” then abruptly stopped and the lead singer laughed. The moment it stopped there was silence, Emily instinctively states, “Oh, thank god.” People turned around to smile at us.
As 8:45 drew closer, Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World” played just before they came on stage. Thanks, Noel. All the swagger and joy washed over the 50,000 friends I just made. By the time they got through the second song, “Aquiesce” I felt the fees and surcharges were worth that alone, and it just kept going. “Cigarettes and Alcohol” was everything I thought it could be with a crowd that size, facing the wrong way, arms around shoulders singing the opening guitar riff and then jumping like Europeans.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more English, during, “Stand By Me” it started to rain, Liam noted that they have rain in Manchester too. Later, when Noel was prompted by some in the front, exclaimed, “Did you just boo Manchester?” He then proceeded to tell the French in the audience he would see them next Tuesday. The rain was steady but no lightning, and the only way I was leaving the stadium was on a stretcher. Standing there in the rain that soaks you to the bone with the love of your life to hear, “Live Forever” can’t be beat.
The encore of, “The Masterplan”, “Don’t Look Back in Anger”, “Wonderwall” and “Champagne Supernova” is to encores what Ohio State is to five star athletes. They may have the best damn band in the land, but Oasis is the best damn band in the world.
The Sign Police
I was first made aware of the sign police when I was taking Comm-2000 at the University of Toledo with Dr. Tucker. I remember his name because on the day we did evaluations, he said make sure you mark that, “Tucker with a T.” I laughed at that one. He was an insightful professor who explained that the French Canadiens were so afraid of English hegemony that they enlisted a group of their police to make sure that every sign in Quebec, the French province of Canada, featured English and French in the same size. Can you imagine if they required that in the bedroom?
This absurdity is culturally unique, and so when I bought some white claws over the border they looked a little different.
Black cherry we all know of course, but, “Cerise Noire” loosely translates to: “The Maginot Line was merely a suggestion.” Do better Trump supporters, this is how you make fun of the French, not with that speaking German bullshit. The French wouldn’t speak that libel if it cost their lives, didn’t you see, “Casablanca?”
Let’s move on, ‘Natural Lime’ or as it’s known in the states, ‘Lime.’ This also has a translation as well for the French impaired:
Lime Naturelle refers to when you think that your language is so beautiful and artsy that you can’t just say, ‘Lime.’ Did you know that the Mona Lisa is around the same size as your margarita glass? More Lime, less smile.
Okay, we all see where this is going, Ruby grapefruit. They are trying their damndest to make this wine. Rose? Pamplemousse? Clearly this is a reference to a moose that Napoleon saw. You know what that moose didn’t say? “Hey Napoleon, Russia’s pretty good at defending in the winter.”
Mango…What to do, what to do…This one was clearly to fuck with us. They wanted me to get in the gutter but I’m taking the high road. Mangue is a stand in for Jean Luc Goddard’s air quotes ‘masterpiece’, Breathless. That was clearly not a film of any consequence. Frankly I don’t even know why they have a film festival.
We laugh at the sign police because French Canadiens want to be just as pretentious as the regular French. Let them. It’s their country, they have a right as a western democracy that elects their representatives to vote their way to French annoyance.
Similarly, we should remember, that despite also being a western democracy that elects our leaders, we can’t support each other. We elect our leaders to divide who gets healthcare rather than making it universal. We elect politicians who have committee seats that film their social media piece, and then walk out of the chamber as their position is eviscerated by the witness they just berated with nonsense. Canada doesn’t have a Marjorie Taylor Greene, no province is that stupid.
Canada fought fascism with us when it became too much for the world to take. On the beaches of Normandy, and retaking Europe. (Including the French resistance) For Christ’s sake Canada sent troops with us to Afghanistan, that’s your best friend carrying you home from the bar. I was on the golf course recently with an Ohioan who referred to Canadian Neil Young as a, “libtard.” and I thought, just like me.
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