College Football Idiot Savant Playoff Week 1
Seasons greetings to all of the fine people who read and to the degenerate gamblers alike. Deck the halls it’s time for fa la la la football! Liveforthepage limped out of the pre-playoff season 1-2 to end up at 21-19 for the year so far. It’s seasons like this, with around a .500 record that I am thankful for all the food that is in my fridge because I only bet on a few of these. Oh look, there’s some college beer in the fridge, let’s make some bold assertions.
Prediction 1: Ohio State similarly limps into the postseason this year at home against Tennessee. Word on campus is that Tennessee fans have bought 30% of the tickets already, and that should irk Buckeye nation. Pro tip: If you are one of the numerous Buckeye fans from whom I’ve heard calls nonstop for SEC teams to play in the cold, and they put a shiner on Ohio State when it’s 25 degrees outside at the shoe, I don’t need to hear your opinion anymore. Ohio State wins, straight up.
Prediction 2: I may have jumped the gun on my stations of the cross bonus coverage a couple of weeks ago, but leave no doubt I will be picking Clemson to fall for the fourth time from here on out. My second prediction will be Dabo falls again until he does. Call me a loon, but I don’t ever want to see a good religious tradition like college football brought down by the likes of an ultra Christian program at a public university. Dabo falls a fourth time, breaking Jesus’ longstanding record.
Prediction 3: First 12 team playoff sees an Indiana Darby in the first round. The good news is, one of the Indiana teams will be out, we all need that. Indiana (+7.5) is the good bet here, but ultimately Notre Dame will win. Indiana is a great story, but they played one ranked opponent this season and they don’t have the acumen for the moment. Golden domes dispatch decorated in state Hoosiers straight up.
Join us weekly during the playoff for more college football expert analysis and absurdity. I am only biased toward one of the twelve teams involved, which the bean counters say gives me an 83% objective opinion. This would put me right in that 99th percentile of Buckeye fans, so you know I’m speaking rationally, the fact that I haven’t called for Ryan Day’s job yet alone puts me above the 90th. But seriously, get yer ya-yas out, we have been waiting for this playoff format for twenty years since the BCS and beyond, and it’s here.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 15
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Ohio State needs to stop using that White Stripes song for kickoffs, Jack White is from Michigan and it couldn’t have helped. The Buckeyes didn’t quite get it done last weekend, and that drags the site down to 20-17, looking to stay above .500 with some championship week picks. We will be taking a break until the playoff, but rest assured the last shot hasn’t been fired yet from Columbus.
Prediction 1: All of the pitchforks and torches have gathered in Atlanta this weekend for a race rally…excuse me, for the SEC championship game. It has come to my attention that Mercedes Benz Stadium will not allow Texas’ mascot longhorn into the stadium for the game. This seems entirely reasonable, because it’s a giant animal and this is a neutral site game, only two kinds come from Texas, people with assault rifles and F-150s, and animals with large horns. Texas to win close straight up.
Prediction 2: The Big Ten championship seems like a shell of the game it was going to be before that Michigan mishap. Oregon at (-3.5) seems favorable for a cover to me, if for no other reason than because it took the, ‘we are Penn State’ people too long to take that Paterno statue down. Oregon is the better team, Penn State is just not the third best team team in the country, they are barely the third best available in the Big Ten. This week Oregon covers to make me feel like the way David Bowie covers do: excellent.
Prediction 3: In our cultural championship game, we see two ACC schools I immediately want to pan like a Dr. Oz infomercial. SMU and Clemson definitely qualifies for the, ‘rooting for the meteor’ designation. I can’t say anything positive about SMU, except that they have the opportunity to make Dabo fall for an unprecedented 4th time. That’s right, they pulled him down off the cross so they could knock him to the ground for one more bonus station. SMU (-2) wins straight up.
Liveforthepage will be off the college football beat until the playoff, but expect to hear something from us before then. It has been wonderful running through the gauntlet of the college football regular season with you, and I’m excited for the playoff. If I hear one more person call for Ryan Day’s job before the end of the season, I’ll go to Bob Dylan, “Let’s stop talkin’ falsely now, the hour’s getting late.”
College Football Idiot Savant Week 14
When Tom Petty was talking about those Indiana boys on those Indiana nights, he wasn’t talking about those Indiana boys that got their asses kicked in Columbus last weekend! I digress, but I know we have to keep it on the up and up here at liveforthepage, so let the objectivity flow through you in this Xichigan week post. That team up north will rue the hour they got onto I-75 this week.
Prediction 1: Will Howard stumbled in an interview this week, uttering the word: Michigan, then quickly correcting himself, saying he meant, ‘that team up north.’ He will not stumble, nor need to correct himself much more this week as the Buckeyes roll to 500 yards of total offense in their sleep. In the end it’s not about if, but about who gets the stats. Buckeye bonanza.
Prediction 2: I know I’m making the same prediction as last week, and they didn’t quite make it, but let’s just say there is going to be some clock to run out in this matchup, and Henderson and Judkins trade slashing runs to get to 150 combined. This is going to be so enjoyable to watch, don’t play any drinking games with the rushing this week, or you will be a goner early. Ground and pound, scarlet and gray.
Prediction 3: Its been a long time coming, and if I ask Siri, she tells me it’s been 1,826 days since Ohio State last beat Xichigan. Ryan Day gets to wipe away 3 years of gloom with a blowout performance that you degenerate gamblers can comfortably count on a cover here. It has been bet down to (-19) Ohio State, but that’s just rivalry garnish being added to a nervous line that will be obliterated by the scarlet and gray. The buckeyes cover with leftovers befitting a thanksgiving weekend.
I went 1-2 with some aggressive picks last week bringing the season total to 20-14. I am doubling down, and in the spirit of Woody Hayes, I hope we go for 2 at a nonsensical point in the game to drive the point home. Xichigan is coming to the shoe this weekend with nothing, and they will leave with nothing. Let this Saturday be your escape from election drama, and enjoy one of the greatest state institutions on the planet putting on a show. As an Ohio tax payer, as a lifelong fan, as a human being who believes in this team, this is the beginning. We won the first 4 team playoff, we will win the first 12 team playoff….just O…fuckin’…H!
College Football Idiot Savant Week 12
Well now that we’re all winners or (probably)losers after this election, let’s get down to picking some winners and losers. Emily did her part last week pulling off an impressive 2-1 contribution to make the season total 18-10. We have some interesting matchups for the week and I hope that you continue to make us your source for idiotic banter about other parts of the country. If you are betting real money based upon this shtick, call a gambling hotline.
Prediction 1: In our cultural matchup of the week we have #6 BYU and Kansas, I wonder what kind of tailgate this would be? I am imagining a game of corn hole with the least interesting conversation happening about local agricultural equipment sales and Joseph Smith’s legitimacy. This has now become the first ironic cultural matchup of the week because it will feature two places completely devoid of it. I assume it gets weird in Provo, otherwise this is upset alert, BYU survives.
Prediction 2: I’m taking a flyer on #22 LSU(-3.5) over Florida because I want to take time to recognize that if we had listened to James Carville a year ago we would be in a better place as a country. I’ll leave it at that, this college football thing was to escape right? Well now I just wanna escape this country, and do you know where I wouldn’t want to be right now? The Swamp. I said it earlier in the year, The Swamp at Florida doesn’t mean anything when you’re irrelevant. Carville wins straight up.
Prediction 3: In our prelude to the pitchforks matchup of the week, we see #7 Tennessee battle #12 Georgia. After a tough loss to Ole Miss last week Georgia looks to bounce back and keep their names in the playoff discussion. The wise guys have Georgia(-9.5) and I agree, this will be a bounce-back game for a group of elite athletes in Georgia. Since this isn’t a conversation about country music, and its contribution to the delinquency of society, who cares about Tennessee? Rocky Flop! Georgia easily.
In other events this week make sure to tune in to Big Ten Network for the buckeye game at Wrigley Field in Chicago against Northwestern, it should be a wonderful visual spectacle. It makes me really wonder why it’s buried on BTN, but then I thought for a second… Money. College football has always been about money whether you like it or not, it’s always been there. The ‘rah-rah’ school spirit has also always been there, BTN is a thing of the past. When the super conference network launches, I ponder the cost.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 10
As we embark on another exciting week of matchups in college football this week, let’s pour another one out for Florida State, who at 1-7 is even worse than I was last week. Liveforthepage stands at 14-8 for the year with another statement game week coming up. On a side note, I’ll pour another one out for Florida State if they knock off Notre Dame next week. The buckeyes take on number 3 Penn State in an environment that is going to be more white and rabid than a trump rally on Mountain Dew code red.
Prediction 1: The buckeye offense will be explosive but inconsistent against a good Penn State defense, less than 500 yards of total offense. They are shuffling the offensive line around with the starting left guard moving to the all important left tackle spot, and I’m still waiting for a prolific passing effort in a meaningful game from Will Howard. The rushing attack will be key to a win, but more with tough short yardage impact, not big plays.
Prediction 2: This will be a close call at the end. With the high stakes nature of this student athlete intercollegiate event, it’s likely both coaches play conservative in the first half, and I don’t see a ton of scoring. I wouldn’t take the buckeyes to cover (-3) as I believe it will be a field goal game late into the fourth. Ohio State’s running game will be critical early to take the crowd out of the game, although to a fan who paid Ticketmaster prices to dress up in all white and be weird with backwoods Pennsylvania people, nothing will be silent.
Prediction 3: Let me be clear: Ryan Day has one foot out the door at Ohio State if he loses this game. The Michigan game seems like a foregone conclusion this year and Day needs a big game win to feather his cap. This 3 vs 4 matchup at noon on Saturday will set the tone for the rest of the season and playoff. Ohio State isn’t out of the playoff race if they lose, but we would be then asking for a 2014 national championship level of gift for the rest of the season, unlikely at best. Ohio State will win close.
In other notes, Clemson looks likely to survive the week without falling again against Louisville. (-10.5) If Sparty has anything left in the tank after that rivalry loss to Michigan last week, they are on upset watch. They will prove difficult for number 13 Indiana and because Indiana will have a rough time getting to East Lansing since they have to use their own roads to get there, I see Michigan State covering. (+8) It’s another beautiful weekend in Columbus, and you’ll know your mood by 4 so plan twilight tee times accordingly.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 9
We are now deep into the meat and potatoes of the college football schedule and after Texas didn’t have enough last week we stand at 12-7 for the year. So far the hype about the playoff has elevated this season for fans across the country and it is a crowded field competing for those 12 spots. Although the election is looming, we all win on Saturdays. Vote with your eyes on Saturday, vote with your mind on Election Day.
Prediction 1: In our cultural matchup of the week we see Ohio in-state rivals compete in, ‘The Battle of I-75.’ The rivalry between Toledo and Bowling Green currently stands at 43-41-4 with the rockets on top. Readers may wonder how a school with no culture or tradition such as Bowling Green would qualify to be in our cultural game of the week, and rightly so. We at liveforthepage take the opportunity from time to time to give attention to less fortunate institutions without indoor plumbing. Fair Toledo wins without sweating too much.
Prediction 2: Penn State comes in as (-6.5) the favorite against Big Ten foe Wisconsin this week in Madison. As the playoff picture becomes more crowded, Ohio State needs the boys in blue to stay undefeated to to make their matchup more meaningful, and I don’t see worry here. I will say it one step further, Penn State wins and covers. Although there will be jumping around in Madison on Saturday, it won’t be for an upset.
Prediction 3: Texas A&M and LSU square off in a top 15 matchup that could be the most competitive of the week. This is basically a toss up, with A&M favored by 1, and it should be entertaining. Overall I have been more impressed with the aggies this year, and when I flipped my Torrey Pines ball marker to decide this, it landed on them. That Torrey Pines marker has won me 3 coin tosses this year, so I’m all in. it will be a close game into the fourth quarter, Texas A&M for the win.
It should go without saying that the buckeyes will cruise to victory over Nebraska at home, already having thoughts of the weird people they will see in happy valley next week. Whether it’s a white out or not the buckeyes deserve to be favored, but of course as our old friend Will Money said in, ‘Unforgiven’ “deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.’ They kick off at Big Noon, so you will still have the rest of your Saturday in Columbus to play golf, find a twilight special near you.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 8
Obviously that outcome in Autzen last week was not what Ohio State wanted, but there is a lot of season left, including Penn State in three weeks: back on the horse. Liveforthepage did fare well with the picks, I consider the buckeyes covering with a push prediction counting, they did not get to 500 yards of offense, but Zach absolutely called for Ryan Day’s job so we sit at 10-6. It’s an off week in Columbus, go play golf! On to Nebraska.
Prediction 1: In our cultural battle of the week, Indiana and Nebraska get together to trade husking techniques and corn based recipes as well as play a football game. The blimp cam will be interesting for this one, its going to look like 60,000 of the same person in the crowd, all cornfed white men in red. I like Indiana to win(-6.5), but this should be an old school football fan’s game, a brawl between the hashes. Bloomington will be a fun place to be Saturday night, if you have to be in Indiana I guess.
Prediction 2: In the coin flip game of the week brought to you by the Illinois Lottery, Michigan comes in as four point favorites and I see next to no justification for that. The Illini could play further spoilers into a U of M collapse post-Harbaugh. Luckily, since both states have sensible marijuana policy, the crowd will be enjoying themselves and I think on a ‘football weather’ kind of Saturday this screams upset. Liveforthepage supporters know I will make any excuse to pick orange, but this time it’s sensible.
Prediction 3: We have been spoiled for choice over the past few weeks with big matchups, and this week provides #1 Texas and #5 Georgia. In my lifetime, I have seen Texas choke so many times that this seems to look one way, but both teams are stacked with talent and this should be fun. Both of these teams are playoff contenders and I really don’t like Texas(-5) covering this. In for a penny, in for a pound, close win for the longhorns in the beautiful orange strip.
It’s October 18th and early voting has started! If you went to college, like college football, like the ideas discussed at college, then next week give early voting in Ohio the college try. Franklin county has a great facility on Morse Rd. and you will be in and out in no time. Regardless of what happens in the Big Ten or the SEC this week, the election is your civic duty. Enjoy the games this weekend, and if you’re in Columbus, Blacklick Woods Metropark Golf Course still has tee times to see those fall colors.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 7
After adding two wins last week, our season total sits at 8-5 with a week of games to write home about ahead. I’ve been centering my college football chi in order to avoid the election, and my sights are on one game this week. Ohio State travels to Oregon for the regular season game of the year, and I like our odds. It should be a great visual spectacle with the ducks slated to be in an all black uniform and those buckeye stickers always look good under the lights.
Prediction 1: Friend of liveforthepage Zach will suffer multiple diagnosable mental breakdowns during the game. Since I will be watching with him I believe that upon the second false start called against the buckeyes caused by the Oregon crowd will cause him to go Chernobyl in the direction of the television. Let me be clear, although a loss does not put Ohio State out of the playoffs, every college football fan in the country will be watching this game. 2 aneurisms, 1 call for Ryan Day’s job, and more Crown Royal than usual.
Prediction 2: Ohio State will have over 500 yards of total offense. I’m seeing this as a 38-35 kind of matchup and there will be a lot of NFL bodies running around Saturday night, but I think we have more of them. Veteran quarterback Will Howard should be able to handle the pressure of the environment and put the ball where his 5 star receivers can put their hands on it. Ohio State’s duel threat backfield will be key early to lowering the temperature in Autzen Stadium, and showcasing our premier backfield.
Prediction 3: Ohio State proves to be too much in a ‘welcome to the Big Ten’ showcase. I promised you objectivity, and that is why I said 38-35, as there’s nothing more objective from a fan than predicting a push. (OSU -3) Oregon is likely to make the playoff, so the buckeyes could see them again, but this is the pinnacle of regular season college football, 2 vs 3 and where the buckeyes have been before many times. Tell me all you want about how much this roster cost, and then look at the amount of scarlet in the stadium, it just means more to us.
This one should be fun Columbus and outlying world, a couple of pro tips from a local: Order your food early, and extra. If you are reading this and don’t care about the game, take a drive on I-670 or 23N at around 8pm Saturday, just to see them with no traffic. I’m posting this from the campus of THE Ohio State University, across from Ohio Stadium, down through the generations, westward the wagons, across the sands of time, until we…oh look at me, I’m ramblin’ again. O-H!
College Football Idiot Savant Week 6
After a rough week of predictions I had nothing to celebrate but the one-handed catches by the Buckeyes. 6-5 and bleeding losses, at least I still have a perfect Buckeye record to fall back on. The scarlet and grey should win again this week and cover (-18), but Iowa does occasionally cause us problems, so I don’t expect it to be an easy task. However, since they are the best team in the nation, they will be fine this week.
Prediction 1: We check in again on Dabo, who currently has fallen for the first time. Number 15 Clemson faces the empty cupboard that is Florida State, and I believe that they will win comfortably. It pains me greatly to say that, but at least they will be sporting those beautiful orange threads, which will be a theme for the week. Orange is my favorite color, and like any gambler backed into a corner with long odds to come back from, stick with the irrational: Clemson orange wins big.
Prediction 2: The Classic Red River Rivalry should be one of the best games of the day, and I believe it will be a day to shine for Arch Manning once again. I might just have to procure myself a steak by 3:30 eastern for this battle amongst the cattle. Just to ruin it for both of them, I’ll use copious amounts of steak sauce. Texas looks good in a big rivalry game, and regardless of which uniform they go with, they will be the best looking team in the stadium.
Prediction 3: In our culture clash game of the week, number 8 Miami takes on my beloved Cal Berkley. The two couldn’t be more different, like how California pays for every Florida hurricane rebuild, or how Florida is just a risky tax haven with unbearable humidity. I, like Tony Kornheiser, will probably not be awake for the end of this snoozer, but Miami should flex here. Whether they go with green, orange, or white tops, those Miami uniforms will shine under the lights as they win big.
Campus came back to life this week with the recent hurricane rains, and that green bursting of life will also be reflected in my picks this week. If I don’t go 3-0 with a Buckeye sweetener, I’ll eat skyline chili at a future date. This is the week I turn this ship around, and try not to annoy Emily with the amount of games on. If it hasn’t been made clear by previous Columbus Crew posts, I really don’t wanna eat that skyline chili, so I need to be the oracle of Delphos this week.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 5
I had a bit of a rough week with picks in week 4 with USC and Michigan letting me down. However, as a life long Browns fan, we continue. Currently 5-3 for the year and looking for a turnabout, 5-3 may look bad but considering how the Browns are looking like coming nowhere near that record after 8 attempts, I soldier on. Let me be clear, when I say soldier on, I mean like, professional armies, not like the civilians that Benjamin Netanyahu keeps slaughtering.
Prediction 1: UNLV rises above scandal to defeat Fresno State. Without doing a deep dive into the NIL scandal with UNLV that has caused their starting quarterback to enter the transfer portal mid-season, I see no way that this is on the kid. He allegedly got a verbal commitment for a $100,000 NIL deal from one of the assistant coaches, that was never put in writing, and subsequently not paid. How did UNLV pay for all those basketball players on the 1990 National Championship team and not come up with a paltry 100k for their starting division 1 quarterback? I really feel for the player, and especially his teammates, but football is next-man-up, and that 2nd team guy has been taking reps all year too. UNLV circles the wagons and wins close against Fresno.
Prediction 2: It must be week 5 in college football because we have an SEC matchup sure to rile up pitch forks and torches throughout the south. Georgia and Alabama, a top 5 matchup for the ages? I think unlikely, for two equally substantive reasons. One, Nick Saban is no longer the coach of Alabama, and thus people can no longer run 85 yards through the heart of the south on him. Two, I shined up my Nick Chubb commemorative glass for some college beers tomorrow, ’bout them Dawgs, Georgia comfortably.
Prediction 3: Oklahoma State faces off with Kansas State in a tight matchup, Kansas state as 5 point favorites. Let me break this down for you, Rickie Fowler is not the greatest player on the PGA Tour by a long shot, but that guy is such a fan favorite that anyone could root for. He wears his alma mater orange proudly every Sunday event he’s in, and there is a 100% chance that orange will be on the field this weekend. O-K-State-you’re-so-fine-you-blow-my-mind, hey Rickie! Underdogs make life fun, by 1.
I have to admit I’m setting myself up to go 0-3 this week, but I’m having fun with it, and if you wanted expert analysis go to Kirk Herbstreit. Just kidding, he’s been spewing college football 101 for so long he thinks it’s insightful. I hate to disparage a Buckeye, but I will since he sent his kids out of state to Clemson, which is an excellent segue to check in on Dabo. Currently, he has only fallen for the first time. Let’s hope Palo Alto has something to say about him falling again.
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