I’ll never be a rock star, its not my personality. Not that I couldn’t out-drink some of them, because I could, but isn’t it about the music first?…

Some people will see this as crazy, but I have five hundred dollars invested in my guitar pedal board, and I have made $120. I write it off personally as a recreational expense, and most of it was bought on credit, but for all of it, I would physically challenge you for, if you were trying to steal it, which is why I’m glad I don’t live in Toledo anymore.

If I’ve learned one or two or many things about the American Mid-West, its that they don’t like to spend any money. And thats totally respectable considering how many people fucked up with their mortgages, we rode that one out. So we get to say all the cliche things about all those ‘Wall Street Cats’. ROFL

But what I want my life to be is dream spending whenever possible, tonight for example, I’m going to order an effect for my guitar setup. I don’t really know how I’m gonna pay for it, but I will figure it out. It might be a total waste, but its like buying anything you only need to buy once, you never know when you will need it.

This will be the most self-indulgent blog post of this blog, and that’s saying something. I know nobody’s been reading, but seriously, who the fuck would care about me ordering an effect pedal, its a boss CS-3, but nobody knows what that is, so this is still my online diary. I hope you start yours soon, I gonna listen to John Mayer now.

I hate March Madness.

But I completely love that Colin Cowherd has decided to do a 64 band rock bracket this year along side that tournament. I did this with my family a few years ago, it was a great conversation/argumentation starter.

This was my only thought for the blog so far, other than to correct him, because he said something to the effect of ‘velvet underground and radiohead don’t count because the critics loved them, but nobody bought any of their albums.’ And, although it helps his argument, I will note that the spell check this site uses did not recognize Radiohead.

Until I capitalized it, then it did. Which works to my advantage because not only are ‘OK Computer’, and ‘The Bends’, 2 of the top 5 albums of the 90’s, but they also sold millions of records, and were very popular, despite their total refusal to produce anything a non-music-lover would want to hear.

Seriously, they played ‘Karma Police’ on Letterman, and even he was like, who the fuck booked this? Radiohead are an amazing band, each member is completely talented at what they do, and if you listen to music for something other than to pass the time in your car, or to put a smile on your face, you most likely love them.

But I finally got a chance to see their Haiti charity performance on video this week, and for FUCKS sake, why didn’t they have professionals record it? I know there were mistakes, and the video was great by the indie people that did it, but the setlist was amazing. Although since they appear to be totally anti-retail, no surprise.

We’ll all be dead by the time Radiohead gets the praise they already deserve, but when scholars look back at the 90’s and 00’s, and see that this was like Beethoven and Bach getting together to record a few albums, and they also gave the bird to the music industry, wearing a Radiohead T-shirt will be much more badass. Even more than Pink Floyd now.

I got a new watch for X-mas and I love it, reminds me of a Mercedes, color wise, and I’ll never own one of those. Not that I don’t have confidence in German engineering, because I do, but if I have money someday, I’m goin’ to Japan for a luxury car. Honda/Acura had me sold long ago, and they haven’t done anything to dissuade me (lookin’ at you Toyota).

But as for the tick, I cannot sleep with even the most minute noise coming from anywhere. I have ears that are way to sensitive is my diagnosis, but that’s another story. Literally this watch sits on my desk, and if I don’t fall asleep before I hear it, I hear it….until I get outta bed and cover it with a bunch of clothing.

This sounds like what an insane person would do. I am totally not cursing my sensitive ears, wouldn’t be able to love Radiohead without them. But at the same time it’s like what the fuck? Why is there not a silent watch in 2011? What benefit is there of a watch that still makes a noise?

So it brings me to an important point, how far have we really come? (This is very melo-dra, considering one man has lost nights of sleep to clocks and watches).

I feel we’ve been on a bit of a progress roller coaster over the course of human history, none of it has had concern for people who cannot sleep from watches.

The Super Ancient Age: Farming, tribes, cities, language, pottery, written word.
The Ancient Age: Greek Philosophy, Homer’s Odyssey, The Iliad, Alexander.
Rome: Vestil Virgins (lol) Empire, Architecture copyright violations, Caesar, Aqueducts, Roads, Connections with the East, Legionaries, Gladiators, Trade Networks.
Middle Ages: Catholic Church fucks Rome, ppl throw shit from windows=sanitation.
Renaissance: Cool to be gay again, Great art, Great writing, Great music. The Dutch Ruled.
Industrial Rev: Cool to be rich, Sucked to be poor. Cheaper products. Changed the World.
Post WW2: Sucked to be anyone other than USA or USSR.
Modern Age: Say hello to ASIA!

That was incredibly generalized, but not too far from correct, in a joking manner. Alas, no big demand for silent watches. The Swiss can launder money, conceal huge amounts of stolen merchandise under international disclosure laws, even make good pocket knives. But, have no interest in making silent watches.

In conclusion this was a self-indulgent pseudo-crap, that I decided to take on the internet. I hope my grammatical correctness makes up for my complete lack of couth. And also, Fuck you to the spell check program that wordpress.com has chosen, because COUTH, still has a red squiggly underline, it might be an old word, but we still use the.

I don’t know why most of my dreams end in Europe, but they do. And I know a lot about the place so its not just drunk-schoolgirl jabber. Paris is unremarkable. I hate to burst the bubble but it smells like piss everywhere, although the French are much more cordial than their reputation would imply.

The gem of the continent for me has to be Amsterdam, argue all you want about it, but I’ve heard from multiple sources that Venice smells like piss too. Rome is all tourists from May-October, Barcelona is always a party, south France is too inaccessible. London’s great, just because it feels like NYC with royalty, and Big Ben (Amazing).

If you are planning a backpacking trip, or honeymoon, or anything where you would endure the ridiculous price tag to fly to Europe, and you don’t see Amsterdam you are wasting your money. De Wallen is a must, but on the walk there you will get to see some of the most beautiful downtown city architecture in the world.

A city of ~400k, the highrises are nowhere to be seen, but people going through the day-to-day are everywhere. Bike lovers, this is your city, having a car around would be a nuisance. It’s not a congested density, its a tolerable one. Not to mention you can walk a block in nearly any direction and see no fast food shops.

So my random blog of the night is an advertisement for Amsterdam, Netherlands.          The ‘I Amsterdam’ sign in the city is a classic photo as well, as that beer commercial points out. The Heineken factory is also a destination, though I have failed to reach it to this point. But I can firmly say, Amsterdam is not just for American college kids.

If anyone ever actually reads this, I’m a tall, extremely nice guy from the miserable mid-west who plays guitar, loves movies of every era, and comes from a small-town family that is very stately in their social gatherings. We also like to drink, heavily, for the desired effect, and I prefer a Heineken if you ever see me in a bar.

Terrible intro for some, yet I feel there might be some redeeming qualities for me. Like I said I’m tall, very not-dark, and handsome. Catholic school K-12…..what a sentence that is….although some counties have public schools that are much less preferable. I only say that because my parents are both teachers and they are saints.

I was inspired to write this blog by alot of things, drugs, (though not lately),’Californication’, Nathan Elias, The University of Toledo, Noel Gallagher,  and the fact that nobody seems to care. But seriously, the economy is horrible and 23 year old people everywhere are at least fucking pist.

I reference ‘Network’, 1976 I believe, because we need to get mad. I put a period at the end of that sentence because it was a serious thought. “We’ll tell you anything you want to hear, we lie like hell.” Mr. Beale was the man. And the….(recommend a non-partisan disparaging remark)….human beings in the media today kill all hope.

I really love to write, and it’s rare that I let people in. But America has become too uptight with it’s creativity. If you can do something great, show it off. As a tourist of the real world, seeing a musician in the subway is exhilarating, you get to see one layer of their existence, and if you decide not to tip them, congratulations. Do you work for JP?

I hope for the rest of my life that I’m just a transient visitor of the mid-west, though Columbus, Ohio is a pretty cool city. It has 2 great non-American sports teams, The Crew and the Blue Jackets, and the best College Football Program in the country. Columbus has what every mid-western city wants. People that are driven.

So as my first ever blog concludes, I hope you long for more, after all, the best bloggers in the world generate many dollars for the fathead investors of the world, and they keep the internet world goin. And if I haven’t made myself clear enough yet, I’m one of those liberal, musical, open-minded people that the mid-west can’t stand. Support us humans.