I regret to inform that I will have limited college football access this weekend, due to me pursuing the most college of pursuits: Weezer at Nationwide. That’s right I’ll be pregaming all day with a smooth pilsner with a natural finish, natty light, and an old friend from when I used to drink it all the time. He refuses to be on the podcast, despite its lack of popularity, but shares my love of ‘The Big Lebowski’ so he gets a pass. This week, I’m doing predictions, so I can make fun of myself next week.

The first prediction: College Gameday on ESPN will be nearly unwatchable. I grew up watching the show, and the memories of the mascot head choice by Lee Corso to signify his pick still tugs at my heart. A local radio guy in Columbus was kicked off the air for saying how bad Desmond Howard was, and it hasn’t gotten better. It is an unwatchable mess with Pat McAfee and Kirk Herbstreit vying for the dunce cap with each successive episode. Disney corporation: you have more money than god, pay some talent.

Second prediction: Texas wins big over Michigan. I saw a kid on campus this week wearing a Texas orange sweatshirt walking to class and I told him to kick Michigan’s ass this week, he smiled, so I assume they will. I also assume that since he was wearing a sweatshirt when the Columbus temperature was over 80 degrees, he might be from Texas, not used to the cold, and would know. I get my info from the best sources, some people are saying you should bet your nickel on Michigan getting Longhorned.

Third prediction: Nebraska wins in Lincoln. I want Nebraska to be successful, they are as college football focused as it gets. If Columbus were a less cultured city, with a great college football tradition, it might be Lincoln, Nebraska. I’m doubling down on coach Prime running his mouth too much, the word today is corn, as in cornhusker. I’m not going to say it’s a rout, but this is truly a battle of flash vs. will, and I can’t wait to watch the highlights.

This isn’t a prediction necessarily, but Western Michigan doesn’t have a chance. Admittedly the grass isn’t growing on most of campus, but there is no such thing as grass being greener on a side other than the Ohio State University. I respect my MAC brethren, but I think 60 points is in the cards. After all, according to The Black Keys, they went, ‘from San Berdoo to Kalamazoo just to get away from you.’ Must be a dead place to escape to, enjoy your time in Columbus.

After prepping a bit of the outside of the horseshoe grounds myself this week, the real start of college football was in the air. Akron was dispatched without worry, although maybe not as quickly or decisively as it should have been. It was great to see guys making plays that will be represented by stickers on their helmet next week as it always is, and the Buckeyes checked a box on the long road to the playoff. This team is loaded, and I would put them against anyone.

Georgia played juggernaut again, and it couldn’t have been at the hands of a more deserving loser. Because of the fact that my uncle Dan thought it was so funny, I compared Clemson’s losses last year, and their ultra religious unlovable coach Dabo Swinney to the stations of the cross. Another year, and week one: Dabo falls for the first time. I will be circling back throughout the year to recount Clemson’s woes, as they are imposters on the college football landscape, like anyone from the ACC.

I might like to also start a weekly primetime segment, one that will be a report on the Colorado Buffalos. If Oasis hadn’t reunited this week, ‘Coach Prime’ and the boys might have been the most overhyped thing in it. Where these overhyped things diverge is that Oasis is of substance, and Colorado football is a flash in the pan operation without depth. J.D. Vance might have tried to tell you the correct phrase of Appalachia is, ‘fart in a skillet’ in either respect, sell Colorado.

As footnotes go, U of Toledo waxed Duquesne 49-10 for a nice start to the non conference schedule, and they still have the best fight song in the nation. They may not be in the playoff race, but they will certainly smoke that inferior institution down I-75 in Bowling Green this year by 20. My falcon brother Jay stopped betting on the game with me a while back, and that was one of his best financial decisions. Also a shoutout to the band, made me think of my days living ‘behind Engineering’ back in the day.

I didn’t forget about the golden domes, they are still ranked higher than they naturally should be, as it has been for my entire life. We can chalk up this loss by A & M as a Johnny Manziel party gone wrong, and as per usual don’t expect much from the state of Texas. Notre Dame survives to be future playoff cannon fodder of division one teams in real conferences. It’s been a fun week one, and I hope you continue to join me throughout the season.

Here at liveforthepage.com I pride myself on all content being honest to the best of the ability of those contributing. Partially as a way of counter-balancing the political onslaught of the next three months, and partially because I am playing way too much EA Sports College Football 25 I will be starting a new weekly post to talk about something related to college football this year. It’s natty championship or bust for our Ohio State Buckeyes this year, and I plan on busting open a few natty lights as well along the way.

I used to watch a ton of college football growing up, but my interest waned after high school, on and off getting into Buckeye runs when I moved to Columbus, and watching the playoff. First, because I want this to be something a person outside of Columbus would read, I am going to try my best to avoid being too much of a homer. Full disclosure: I graduated from the University of Toledo, and I work on Ohio State’s campus currently, I’m diving back into college football as an experience and I love the Buckeyes.

The scarlet and grey do not kickoff until next week, however I want to give a quick preview for week one matchup of Akron at home: it will be boring as hell. This has been one of my gripes with college football and why my attention to it faded, there are so many boring, meaningless, uncompetitive games. In terms of funding, size, athletic ability and coaching these two teams are barely playing the same sport. Buck nuts in the 614 and beyond will enjoy seeing the second and third string recruits early in the second half.

I stressed objectivity earlier, so allow me to say something nice about Michigan football, as it may be the last time all season. They have an ‘end of the third quarter’ pump up song similar to Wisconsin’s, “Jump Around.” Michigan plays, “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers, huge pop hit of my generation, and hearing 100,000 people sing it together is just one of those traditions that makes me smile. Piling on the objectivity front, I root for Michigan when they play Notre Dame.

I hope this will be a fun topic to come back to and that it will sufficiently dilute the political posts that are bound to come this election season. Our resident expert on all things Buckeyes and college football Zach will join me at some point for expert analysis, he is currently coaching all three of his kids in soccer and wasn’t available to breathe, let alone comment. Thanks for reading, and I hope this will be a classic college football season to watch with the new playoff format.

Since Manchester City are in Columbus this weekend for a preseason exhibition match against Chelsea, I thought I could extrapolate on a far better squad to come from the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution. On this occasion I am not here to profess my Manchester United fandom, but my love for the best damn nineties band in the land: Oasis.

I want to go into the hypothetical here, because while they broke through in the United States with two big hit singles, ‘Wonderwall’ and ‘Champagne Supernova’ they did not enjoy the same Oasis mania as they did in the United Kingdom. Their first two albums remain mainstays on best of the decade lists, but it was the cocaine fueled lunacy of the third album and band turmoil in general that kept them from the same success here.

Don’t get me wrong, ‘Be Here Now’ has some massive songs on it. However when you consider that just a year later in 1998 they released a collection of 14 b-sides from the era, I can’t help but wonder what might have been with a more coherent track list for the third album. This is nothing people haven’t discussed before about the band during that period, but here is why they would have owned America with a third salvo of Noel Gallagher gems.

I have never played, ‘Talk Tonight’ to someone who didn’t like it upon the first listen, and I have annoyed a lot of people in my time with Oasis propaganda. The guitar is in the same vein as, ‘Wonderwall’ and the lyrics are arguably more passionate which is like following a Super Bowl ring with another Super Bowl ring. The prolific nature of great songwriting during this time from Noel really shines on this one, and I’m only going to mention one other so you can enjoy the rest for yourself in your own way.

They recorded part of Be Here Now at Abbey Road Studios, before they got kicked out. Production value and string sections abound, and are beautiful and ascendant. For arrangements though, you haven’t heard a Noel Gallagher signature composition until you hear, ‘The Masterplan.’ ‘Take the time to make some sense of what you want to say, and cast your words away upon the waves.’ It goes on and on, getting bigger and bigger, and in a way it never ends for me.

Below is the album that could have been the third leg in the triumvirate, people would know Noel Gallagher in America like they know Simon Cowell. Any way that you slice it, that is so much more fucking palatable. Here is my pipe dream third album, it will make your day much more enchanting:

1. D’yer Know What I Mean

2. Acquiesce

3. Talk Tonight

4. Don’t Go Away

5. Stay Young

6. All Around the World

7. Rocking Chair

8. Half the World Away

9. Going Nowhere

10. Stand By Me

11. Fade Away

12. Magic Pie

13. (It’s Good) To Be Free

14. The Masterplan

Joe Biden has now told us that if, ‘God Almighty’ told him to step aside, that would be the bar for what it’s going to take. Since over 30% of millennials identify as atheist, I’m speaking directly to my godless brothers and sisters with this plea. Since god isn’t real, what if one of us cleverly disguised ourselves as white christian god and sent Bazooka Joe a personal note? I’d probably use e-mail, because I think he would understand that, for Gen Z, e-mail used to be how you got messages on the internet.

======Codeword Classified
Eyes Only: Joe Biden
Office of St. Peter
1 Pearly Gates Ct.
Heaven, Univ.

Joe,

This is your Heavenly Father responding to your thousands of requests. No, this isn’t about Amtrak, something far more important has come up. I want to start by saying you have represented the Catholic faith like a champion for over 7 decades, and that’s a lot to ask. I’m taking the time to look into your personal salvation for your service to me, and to your fellow man. St. Peter will greet you and Jill at the gates in a few years, you’re on the list.

Later in a persons life, one may ponder their influence on the world, yours has been an existence for the benefit of humanity. Your first term stacks up very well in terms of legislative accomplishments, weathering the storm, and your most important job: not allowing Donald Trump to win the presidency. I know I gave you people free will, but Jesus Christ how could anyone vote for that monster? Anyway, history will remember you fondly if you heed my word.

As some of your loved ones, and too few of your staff have probably disclosed to you by now, you need to step aside. This is new testament almighty God talking, I’m not going to ask you to kill your own son, and then just be like j/k rofl. No, Joe, I am simply asking you to give your delegates away to the party so that we can continue your work into the future. I’ve got some fabulous ideas for the rapture, and don’t worry you will be up here by then. We can watch together, and I’ll even give Hunter a pass if you comply.

Sincerely,
Catholic God

I have had more political discourse with people I love in the last 24 hours than I can remember, maybe, since we elected Barack Obama. People in my family and personal life that I have a lot of respect for, love, and care about deeply. Thursday night was the Nixon/Kennedy debate reincarnate. Our empathizer in chief Joe Biden, who I have the utmost respect for his life of service to this country, he is a big fucking deal. He also, is done, I don’t see how he recovers from this, but if he doesn’t decide to bow out we still have to vote for him.

Before the debate started, I had a very negative view of CNN as a news outlet. I like Anderson Cooper, especially when he gets drunk on air at the new year, but this was journalistic malpractice. Much like in 2016 when CNN aired full Trump rallies live, giving platform to the racist, xenophobic, self-centered rantings of a conman, in the debate their failure to stop him when he didn’t answer questions or fact check any of the sewage he spewed on their airwaves makes it clear to me that I will never trust them for anything ever again.

It will be interesting to see what comes of the first polls after the debate is baked in, but I am predicting catastrophe. Biden probably edges out Trump if the election is held this past Wednesday, but we are in a different place now. A two point slip in national polls would be a death sentence, and I think it will be worse than that. My thought of him winning rests upon victory in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, where I have to assume progress was lost Thursday night.

The corporate owned Democratic Party could decide to take action and make a change at the convention, but my pessimism makes me believe that they won’t. I think that Gavin Newsom, Gretchen Whitmer, and Josh Shapiro would all make much better candidates and all are capable of beating Trump in November. However with this Democratic Party, sadly, the song remains the same, vote in step against the orange man, and we are likely stuck with Biden in November.

Believers in sanity, the rule of law, free and fair elections, and the American experiment are at a crossroads right now. Joe Biden is not the answer, but the question is still, ‘How can we prevent Donald Trump from turning this country into a dictatorship?’ Unfortunately, right now Joe is still the last man in the trench, holding the line, and will I still vote for him? Absolutely. We can do so much better than this, however, and options should be considered like the world depends on it, because it does.