(In an effort to remain as objective as possible with the picks this week, I have chosen to write from the Notre Dame perspective. This should prevent me from conscious or unconscious bias. I respect my right to do this on behalf of a roommate I had in college who did a stint at Notre Dame. I am not going to pretend our catholic upbringing doesn’t come into this as well, it does.)

It’s been such a blessed season friends! Liveforthepage is at 28-21 for the season’s predictions and we now stare down one final athletic competition between wonderful college athletes fighting for school pride. There will be a national championship to decide the best college football team in the nation for this season, and in a new playoff format, kinda like coming home to fresh apple pie from your loving wife.

Prediction 1: There are total gentleman on both sides of this intercollegiate competition, but I think the ones wearing the golden helmets of the lord just have something here. They will hold the secular and superior Ohio State offense to under 400 total yards during the game. Notre Dame is going to need a Tebow-like performance out of Riley Leonard on the other side of the ball, luckily he puts God first at all times and will be efficient on 3rd down.

Prediction 2: Let’s be honest, we are all here to spread Jesus’ message to the world, and what better way to do that than to have our team in a championship! I am willing to bet any amount of money in the world, which means nothing because Jesus is my savior and I would live in a box on Skid Row with him. Even so, our faithful brothers at Notre Dame would never join a conference. Do you know how much NBC money would be taken out of the coffers at church if Notre Dame joined a conference and became legitimate?! (Both Notre Dame and Ohio State players will wear bible verses on their eye-black.)

Prediction 3: I will tell you what brothers and sisters, this is a tall task. But I am again conflicted, there seems to be illicit commerce taking place in the house of the lord. Jesus would turn over the tables of these gamblers trying to say that Notre Dame is eight and a half points less likely to win than the Ohio State! Clearly we need to put the entire collection basket on Ohio State covering (-8.5).

This next game will truly be a test of faith—light a candle, unless you’re in Los Angeles, then definitely pray. Love the sinner, hate the sin, Ohio State has just been too good this year, probably savoring all of the seven deadly sins. They will get their gratification here on earth on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in Atlanta, but Notre Dame will have their victory in paradise.