College Football Idiot Savant Playoff Week 2
Happy New Year Internet! It was an exciting first round of the new playoff format that saw liveforthepage improve to 24-19 for the year after a sweep of last week’s predictions. It’s time for more holiday college football and we’ve got some great picks that you can take to the bank. Of course if you don’t have money in the bank already, don’t bet on anything.
Prediction 1: New Years Eve kicks off with a pairing that I would have never predicted at the beginning of the season. I grew up watching Boise State’s rise to prominence, and who could forget the trick play game against Oklahoma? However, I just don’t think a Mountain West conference team deserves a bye, and the spread line of (-11) Penn State would indicate that. Happy valley will be happier by midnight, but only straight up, this one could be as Lee Corso used to say: “closer than the experts predict.”
Prediction 2: You can make a lot of hay betting against Texas to cover, but as we look to the new year I will try to embrace SEC arrogance and pick Texas (-12.5) to turn over a new leaf. It’s not out of a preponderance of evidence that I think Texas can run away with this wildly, but a reflection on how little I think of the Big 12. How Arizona State is a four seed will be looked at with questions about the playoff format, as the second team with a bye goes bye-bye. Texas covered in peaches instead of sour grapes.
Prediction 3: Old guard college football fans should see a lot of tradition in a matchup between Ohio State and Oregon at the Rose Bowl. After the first game earlier in the season at Oregon, many thought we might see this pairing again, and it’s suitable that the Rose Bowl is the venue for what could be the ‘real national title game.’ I trust that Will Howard has trained his knee to get down to the ground in a timely fashion since the first game, and the Buckeyes win straight up.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, enjoy the games and eat as much bad food as you want. For the fourth playoff game, I don’t feel strongly about one side or the other, but Notre Dame is 0-3 all time against Georgia and I don’t think that record will improve for them. Notre Dame has been a playoff pretender since there has been a playoff. Enjoy the games and don’t forget about your family members, they need bad food too.
College Football Idiot Savant Playoff Week 1
Seasons greetings to all of the fine people who read and to the degenerate gamblers alike. Deck the halls it’s time for fa la la la football! Liveforthepage limped out of the pre-playoff season 1-2 to end up at 21-19 for the year so far. It’s seasons like this, with around a .500 record that I am thankful for all the food that is in my fridge because I only bet on a few of these. Oh look, there’s some college beer in the fridge, let’s make some bold assertions.
Prediction 1: Ohio State similarly limps into the postseason this year at home against Tennessee. Word on campus is that Tennessee fans have bought 30% of the tickets already, and that should irk Buckeye nation. Pro tip: If you are one of the numerous Buckeye fans from whom I’ve heard calls nonstop for SEC teams to play in the cold, and they put a shiner on Ohio State when it’s 25 degrees outside at the shoe, I don’t need to hear your opinion anymore. Ohio State wins, straight up.
Prediction 2: I may have jumped the gun on my stations of the cross bonus coverage a couple of weeks ago, but leave no doubt I will be picking Clemson to fall for the fourth time from here on out. My second prediction will be Dabo falls again until he does. Call me a loon, but I don’t ever want to see a good religious tradition like college football brought down by the likes of an ultra Christian program at a public university. Dabo falls a fourth time, breaking Jesus’ longstanding record.
Prediction 3: First 12 team playoff sees an Indiana Darby in the first round. The good news is, one of the Indiana teams will be out, we all need that. Indiana (+7.5) is the good bet here, but ultimately Notre Dame will win. Indiana is a great story, but they played one ranked opponent this season and they don’t have the acumen for the moment. Golden domes dispatch decorated in state Hoosiers straight up.
Join us weekly during the playoff for more college football expert analysis and absurdity. I am only biased toward one of the twelve teams involved, which the bean counters say gives me an 83% objective opinion. This would put me right in that 99th percentile of Buckeye fans, so you know I’m speaking rationally, the fact that I haven’t called for Ryan Day’s job yet alone puts me above the 90th. But seriously, get yer ya-yas out, we have been waiting for this playoff format for twenty years since the BCS and beyond, and it’s here.
Why You Need Jimmy Stewart This Christmas
If you’re a compassionate person who cares about humanity, you might be in a panic right now like I am. All I can do is point you in the right direction for distraction from the dizzying reality we are about to face. While you’re contemplating the relatives and which ones you can or can’t talk with, remember that the holidays are a time for the people you love. If they don’t reciprocate, it is not your responsibility to fix them.
There will be debate if I say, ‘Best Christmas Movie.’ I am trying to avoid that. I only want you to consider the movie of my family this holiday season. The 1946 classic, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ was an illustration of the values that were instilled in me as a person from my too lucky birth to two school teachers.
The story starts out with the images of Christianity, but not with specificity. ‘God’ making a bargain with an angel short of status. I’ll play along because of how good the journey is, but this movie doesn’t really have a lot of religion in it thankfully if you just accept the angel being part of the plot. I like George Bailey, and if you don’t, you may as well stop reading, you don’t care about your neighbors.
I, like George Bailey wanted to travel to great places, not the reflexive instinct to, ‘give up’ and settle in a small town. This of course falls apart when he meets the love of his life and dances like he has no enemies. “Why don’t you kiss her instead of talking her to death!” This results in the most penthouse letters parody Hollywood could get away with in the forties. George of course does the right thing in the end.
This is where the movie takes a sharp turn, the narrative conflicts really begin, and George meets that fated angel to go through arguably the most recognizable plot device ever of showing George what Bedford Falls would look like if he had never been born.
For me, at multiple points in the movie, it’s a Mike Tyson punch to the tear ducts. I cry at a lot of good movies, doing my part to live out the Jim Valvano ESPYs speech as often as I can. You laugh, you think, you cry, that’s a full day. Have a full day this holiday season everyone.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 15
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Ohio State needs to stop using that White Stripes song for kickoffs, Jack White is from Michigan and it couldn’t have helped. The Buckeyes didn’t quite get it done last weekend, and that drags the site down to 20-17, looking to stay above .500 with some championship week picks. We will be taking a break until the playoff, but rest assured the last shot hasn’t been fired yet from Columbus.
Prediction 1: All of the pitchforks and torches have gathered in Atlanta this weekend for a race rally…excuse me, for the SEC championship game. It has come to my attention that Mercedes Benz Stadium will not allow Texas’ mascot longhorn into the stadium for the game. This seems entirely reasonable, because it’s a giant animal and this is a neutral site game, only two kinds come from Texas, people with assault rifles and F-150s, and animals with large horns. Texas to win close straight up.
Prediction 2: The Big Ten championship seems like a shell of the game it was going to be before that Michigan mishap. Oregon at (-3.5) seems favorable for a cover to me, if for no other reason than because it took the, ‘we are Penn State’ people too long to take that Paterno statue down. Oregon is the better team, Penn State is just not the third best team team in the country, they are barely the third best available in the Big Ten. This week Oregon covers to make me feel like the way David Bowie covers do: excellent.
Prediction 3: In our cultural championship game, we see two ACC schools I immediately want to pan like a Dr. Oz infomercial. SMU and Clemson definitely qualifies for the, ‘rooting for the meteor’ designation. I can’t say anything positive about SMU, except that they have the opportunity to make Dabo fall for an unprecedented 4th time. That’s right, they pulled him down off the cross so they could knock him to the ground for one more bonus station. SMU (-2) wins straight up.
Liveforthepage will be off the college football beat until the playoff, but expect to hear something from us before then. It has been wonderful running through the gauntlet of the college football regular season with you, and I’m excited for the playoff. If I hear one more person call for Ryan Day’s job before the end of the season, I’ll go to Bob Dylan, “Let’s stop talkin’ falsely now, the hour’s getting late.”
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