Owners of the laziest insult nickname, the “luckeyes” got a big win over Penn State last weekend, and liveforthepage was a solid 2-1 for a season total of 16-9. There is a long way to go down the trail for the Buckeyes, but they seemed very capable last weekend. This week on the college football series I’m going to invite the lovely Emily to make the picks this week. I have selected the matchups, and she is gonna knock it outta the park for us this week.

Prediction 1: In our cultural matchup of the week, BYU takes on the in-state secular heathens of Utah. Emily wanted everyone to know that Utah is home to the abusive multi-level marketing organizations such as Herbalife and Avon, who prey upon mormon housewives throughout the state, and nation. She also believes that straight up, the Cougars will be wearing the correct version of the funny underwear to win this game. BYU to win.

Prediction 2: #11 Alabama and #15 LSU meet up to rile up the swamps and other less habitable parts of the American south for Saturday night! Pitchforks out! Emily thinks that Alabama wins as the favorite, and that the south will not in fact, rise again. No doubt though, they can get together and discuss academic strategies two of the worst performing states in the nation. While this isn’t Emily endorsed, I believe James Carville is the only good thing to ever come out of either of these places.

Prediction 3: #3 Georgia takes on #16 Ole Miss in this prelude to the pitchforks showdown. Emily feels strongly about Georgia’s dominance in this game and also in the feeling that we will never live in any of these four second-rate SEC states. Ohio may only have been her home a few weeks again now, but it clearly sits, both geographically and morally, head and shoulders above either of these two. When and if the super conference comes, the south better hope we leave the academics completely behind.

Last week saw a bit more joy than just a Buckeye victory, as Dabo Swinney and Clemson fell the second time. We can’t say for sure he will complete the stations and fall for the third time, but we certainly hope so. Florida State is also free to take out their frustrations on Notre Dame, as nothing will really cheer me up right now, but seeing the golden domes lose is always nice for the children. The Buckeyes should be a snooze fest, make your tee time for halftime.