College Football Idiot Savant Week 14
When Tom Petty was talking about those Indiana boys on those Indiana nights, he wasn’t talking about those Indiana boys that got their asses kicked in Columbus last weekend! I digress, but I know we have to keep it on the up and up here at liveforthepage, so let the objectivity flow through you in this Xichigan week post. That team up north will rue the hour they got onto I-75 this week.
Prediction 1: Will Howard stumbled in an interview this week, uttering the word: Michigan, then quickly correcting himself, saying he meant, ‘that team up north.’ He will not stumble, nor need to correct himself much more this week as the Buckeyes roll to 500 yards of total offense in their sleep. In the end it’s not about if, but about who gets the stats. Buckeye bonanza.
Prediction 2: I know I’m making the same prediction as last week, and they didn’t quite make it, but let’s just say there is going to be some clock to run out in this matchup, and Henderson and Judkins trade slashing runs to get to 150 combined. This is going to be so enjoyable to watch, don’t play any drinking games with the rushing this week, or you will be a goner early. Ground and pound, scarlet and gray.
Prediction 3: Its been a long time coming, and if I ask Siri, she tells me it’s been 1,826 days since Ohio State last beat Xichigan. Ryan Day gets to wipe away 3 years of gloom with a blowout performance that you degenerate gamblers can comfortably count on a cover here. It has been bet down to (-19) Ohio State, but that’s just rivalry garnish being added to a nervous line that will be obliterated by the scarlet and gray. The buckeyes cover with leftovers befitting a thanksgiving weekend.
I went 1-2 with some aggressive picks last week bringing the season total to 20-14. I am doubling down, and in the spirit of Woody Hayes, I hope we go for 2 at a nonsensical point in the game to drive the point home. Xichigan is coming to the shoe this weekend with nothing, and they will leave with nothing. Let this Saturday be your escape from election drama, and enjoy one of the greatest state institutions on the planet putting on a show. As an Ohio tax payer, as a lifelong fan, as a human being who believes in this team, this is the beginning. We won the first 4 team playoff, we will win the first 12 team playoff….just O…fuckin’…H!
College Football Idiot Savant Week 13
With each passing week that I go 1-2, it makes me ever the more thankful that only pride was lost and not rent money. Liveforthepage stands at 19-12 for the year with another special edition this week as another top 5 opponent faces off with the buckeyes. Indiana comes to Columbus this week, well, as long as they are able to navigate the Indiana pothole circus from Bloomington to the Ohio border anyway.
Prediction 1: Weather conditions look to be cloudy in the mid 40s with some wind, what midwesterners often call, ‘football weather’ and shouldn’t hamper the better football team. It’s the perfect kind of weather to have 2 top tier running backs, and that is what the buckeyes will have to focus on early to keep Indiana’s pressure off the quarterback. When I say, ‘better football team’ I mean to say the weather won’t stop the buckeyes from 500 yards of total offense and neither will Indiana. Hoosier daddy?
Prediction 2: If a Big Ten team owns the line of scrimmage, the game can get out of hand fast. With a bevy of injuries to the offensive line this season, we will see here early on a tone being set in the running game by the buckeyes. Judkins and Henderson will combine for 150 rushing yards, if they don’t, this could be a coin flip game. As a high caliber athlete you come to Ohio State for weeks like this, and the scarlet and gray backfield will shine.
Prediction 3: In some ways the buckeyes are playing for their season on Saturday. Indiana is a good football team, but in no universe the fifth best in the country. A loss however would likely mean missing the Big Ten Championship and waiting on pins and needles for a reputational playoff spot. It stands at (-10.5) for Ohio State and I’m sorry, if you don’t cover against Indiana football with this multimillion dollar roster you don’t deserve a spot. Buckeyes cover, scaffolding for Big Noon kickoff’s set stays put for another week in Columbus.
My colleagues and I saw Kirk walking the oval with his dog this morning, and there is no doubt that the dog is the best part about him. Urban will also be on campus this weekend, so maybe they can both get together for food poisoning at his restaurant. The buckeyes turn the page from doubt this week, and with Kirk not on the call, it should be a great watch. Be sure to grab an extra layer if you’re heading to the horseshoe this weekend, and if you have a tee time on Saturday, you’re a hero to me.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 12
Well now that we’re all winners or (probably)losers after this election, let’s get down to picking some winners and losers. Emily did her part last week pulling off an impressive 2-1 contribution to make the season total 18-10. We have some interesting matchups for the week and I hope that you continue to make us your source for idiotic banter about other parts of the country. If you are betting real money based upon this shtick, call a gambling hotline.
Prediction 1: In our cultural matchup of the week we have #6 BYU and Kansas, I wonder what kind of tailgate this would be? I am imagining a game of corn hole with the least interesting conversation happening about local agricultural equipment sales and Joseph Smith’s legitimacy. This has now become the first ironic cultural matchup of the week because it will feature two places completely devoid of it. I assume it gets weird in Provo, otherwise this is upset alert, BYU survives.
Prediction 2: I’m taking a flyer on #22 LSU(-3.5) over Florida because I want to take time to recognize that if we had listened to James Carville a year ago we would be in a better place as a country. I’ll leave it at that, this college football thing was to escape right? Well now I just wanna escape this country, and do you know where I wouldn’t want to be right now? The Swamp. I said it earlier in the year, The Swamp at Florida doesn’t mean anything when you’re irrelevant. Carville wins straight up.
Prediction 3: In our prelude to the pitchforks matchup of the week, we see #7 Tennessee battle #12 Georgia. After a tough loss to Ole Miss last week Georgia looks to bounce back and keep their names in the playoff discussion. The wise guys have Georgia(-9.5) and I agree, this will be a bounce-back game for a group of elite athletes in Georgia. Since this isn’t a conversation about country music, and its contribution to the delinquency of society, who cares about Tennessee? Rocky Flop! Georgia easily.
In other events this week make sure to tune in to Big Ten Network for the buckeye game at Wrigley Field in Chicago against Northwestern, it should be a wonderful visual spectacle. It makes me really wonder why it’s buried on BTN, but then I thought for a second… Money. College football has always been about money whether you like it or not, it’s always been there. The ‘rah-rah’ school spirit has also always been there, BTN is a thing of the past. When the super conference network launches, I ponder the cost.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 11
Owners of the laziest insult nickname, the “luckeyes” got a big win over Penn State last weekend, and liveforthepage was a solid 2-1 for a season total of 16-9. There is a long way to go down the trail for the Buckeyes, but they seemed very capable last weekend. This week on the college football series I’m going to invite the lovely Emily to make the picks this week. I have selected the matchups, and she is gonna knock it outta the park for us this week.
Prediction 1: In our cultural matchup of the week, BYU takes on the in-state secular heathens of Utah. Emily wanted everyone to know that Utah is home to the abusive multi-level marketing organizations such as Herbalife and Avon, who prey upon mormon housewives throughout the state, and nation. She also believes that straight up, the Cougars will be wearing the correct version of the funny underwear to win this game. BYU to win.
Prediction 2: #11 Alabama and #15 LSU meet up to rile up the swamps and other less habitable parts of the American south for Saturday night! Pitchforks out! Emily thinks that Alabama wins as the favorite, and that the south will not in fact, rise again. No doubt though, they can get together and discuss academic strategies two of the worst performing states in the nation. While this isn’t Emily endorsed, I believe James Carville is the only good thing to ever come out of either of these places.
Prediction 3: #3 Georgia takes on #16 Ole Miss in this prelude to the pitchforks showdown. Emily feels strongly about Georgia’s dominance in this game and also in the feeling that we will never live in any of these four second-rate SEC states. Ohio may only have been her home a few weeks again now, but it clearly sits, both geographically and morally, head and shoulders above either of these two. When and if the super conference comes, the south better hope we leave the academics completely behind.
Last week saw a bit more joy than just a Buckeye victory, as Dabo Swinney and Clemson fell the second time. We can’t say for sure he will complete the stations and fall for the third time, but we certainly hope so. Florida State is also free to take out their frustrations on Notre Dame, as nothing will really cheer me up right now, but seeing the golden domes lose is always nice for the children. The Buckeyes should be a snooze fest, make your tee time for halftime.
College Football Idiot Savant Week 10
As we embark on another exciting week of matchups in college football this week, let’s pour another one out for Florida State, who at 1-7 is even worse than I was last week. Liveforthepage stands at 14-8 for the year with another statement game week coming up. On a side note, I’ll pour another one out for Florida State if they knock off Notre Dame next week. The buckeyes take on number 3 Penn State in an environment that is going to be more white and rabid than a trump rally on Mountain Dew code red.
Prediction 1: The buckeye offense will be explosive but inconsistent against a good Penn State defense, less than 500 yards of total offense. They are shuffling the offensive line around with the starting left guard moving to the all important left tackle spot, and I’m still waiting for a prolific passing effort in a meaningful game from Will Howard. The rushing attack will be key to a win, but more with tough short yardage impact, not big plays.
Prediction 2: This will be a close call at the end. With the high stakes nature of this student athlete intercollegiate event, it’s likely both coaches play conservative in the first half, and I don’t see a ton of scoring. I wouldn’t take the buckeyes to cover (-3) as I believe it will be a field goal game late into the fourth. Ohio State’s running game will be critical early to take the crowd out of the game, although to a fan who paid Ticketmaster prices to dress up in all white and be weird with backwoods Pennsylvania people, nothing will be silent.
Prediction 3: Let me be clear: Ryan Day has one foot out the door at Ohio State if he loses this game. The Michigan game seems like a foregone conclusion this year and Day needs a big game win to feather his cap. This 3 vs 4 matchup at noon on Saturday will set the tone for the rest of the season and playoff. Ohio State isn’t out of the playoff race if they lose, but we would be then asking for a 2014 national championship level of gift for the rest of the season, unlikely at best. Ohio State will win close.
In other notes, Clemson looks likely to survive the week without falling again against Louisville. (-10.5) If Sparty has anything left in the tank after that rivalry loss to Michigan last week, they are on upset watch. They will prove difficult for number 13 Indiana and because Indiana will have a rough time getting to East Lansing since they have to use their own roads to get there, I see Michigan State covering. (+8) It’s another beautiful weekend in Columbus, and you’ll know your mood by 4 so plan twilight tee times accordingly.
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