On this holiest of Good Fridays let us bow our heads in prayer to commemorate the occasion of our savior dying on the cross to forgive our sins for the 1991st time. (33 AD – 2024 AD) Let us give reflection on our time with a quote from Revelation: ‘And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.”‘ For the MAGA flock, it is no longer God’s plan, but Trump’s plan that is most prescient.

I’m going to take the holiday to denigrate religion a little bit, because the first amendment gives me the right to, and I will spend the rest of my life scrubbing the 12 years of Catholic school from my brain. However, like the grime remaining after a Blockbuster Video sign is taken down, it is forever. I find much more value in the sarcastic reflection of George Carlin on ‘God’s plan’: “It’s a divine plan. What’s the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan?”

Donald J Trump becoming a Bible salesman is exactly this perfect bit personified. $59.99 for a faux leather bound King James Bible that also includes the Constitution, Declaration of Independence and pledge of allegiance. I only wish Trump would have included his own foreword to the good book, just to show that he has never read a page of it. Brings to mind another awful quote, sorry I’ll try to end this well: ‘When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.’ -James Waterman Wise.

I have to say the MAGA crowd are gluttons for abuse and misuse. The way Trump abuses them by channeling their faith to extract their wallets is his lowest grift yet. If you thought grown adults paying $100 dollars for Trump superhero trading cards was abusive, maybe I can also direct you to Trump University fraud victims or the citizens of New York City who voted for him who could have used his tax money he defrauded them of for essential services.

Now to the misuse, MAGA for years now have been self proclaiming themselves as patriots despite the fact that they are supporting an authoritarian figure in direct opposition to the founders’ intent. This was pointed out so explicitly by Jon Stewart last week, and I will leave many-a-MAGA with this classic uplifting quote from the film “Friday”: “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this; but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do.”