From the first moment someone liked what I wrote, agreed with it, or told me maybe it wasn’t for me I knew it. I knew I was trapped in the insane cycle of the creative. Pour your heart into something, work on it more, send it out to people and wait for the inevitable disappointment. I’ve never been a science or math oriented person, so I have no idea what that feels like. I can tell you what it feels like to be an art school graduate who needs to survive, but can’t give up art on the side.

I’m the guy that has a minor aneurism when I see a typo in text. It’s not just vocabulary, that’s like giving a professional set of golf clubs to a beginner. Some words are wasted on the people who use them. I never wanted to be that person, I never knew if I would succeed or fail or run along mindlessly not using my ability.

The world doesn’t give you many opportunities to show yourself unless you do it yourself. I can tell you that nothing made me happier than playing in a band, and that some of the best moments weren’t playing live, but that long post-bar practice session in the middle of the night. That session somehow didn’t get the cops to our place.

The almost universal truth about people who create is pain. I think it is through pain that we recognize how great the high points are. I have had some of those like graduating college or scoring a game winning goal, but nothing compares to the love of creating something and seeing people like it. I always need the audience however small it is.

Playing guitar again has been amazing, and I’m so glad I’ve been able to pick it up again. Writing songs is a challenge, but playing for an audience of nobody is still a satisfying feeling. Composing new things has been a great comfort to becoming the new person that I want to become. Maybe, like the song says, I just wanna fly.