Parents:

If you want to know where you can grab your little one by the, “I want it, I want it.”

Teach them how to speak.

You don’t say things in front of certain people, and if you can instill this simple message, you win. No matter how bad your English is, and no matter how bad your collective parental vocabulary is, if you don’t say the wrong thing, you win. 

Teaching your child to smile and shut up is the best thing you can do. In the U.S., this requires a handshake. A punctual pile of human flesh is more valuable than 200 people that don’t get it. Send them to college, let them write their own story, then they’ll figure it out.

We had a cuss cup.

When you say something out of line, you pay.

Every family draws the line, but there is always a line that no-one draws in this country. That’s the one where if you think the thought and you say it, you are responsible for it. 

Keeping your cool will make the difference between Jersey Shore and Lower Manhattan.