I don’t know if that voodoo that you Christians do works, I don’t buy it, but keep praying for the Japanese people. if you really are a believer, send over some goddamn money, everyone knows that works, and its tax-deductible just how you like it. Just so you know, god clearly likes money too, so it must be good.

I had so many things to rant on, but I keep losing them, so lets talk about ‘angry birds’. It’s fucking genius. I just got an iPhone 4, and it is the only electronic that has changed my life in some time, I will never go without a smartphone again.

Oh yes, time to give The Strokes another ‘verbal blowjob’, because congratulations guys, you really made the album to end all post 2000 albums. It just got leaked/your website, and although I already paid an ungodly amount of money for the deluxe album/shirt/vinyl/ package, I just wanted to hear it sooner, so I got a torrent.

It opens with ‘Machu Picchu’, 10 seconds in you are hooked. This is The Strokes that you never heard before, because this time the whole band co-wrote the album. After every member except Nikolai released solo material during the hiatus, they finally decided to write together, and the result is phenomenal.

They have molded all the right parts of their core, ‘is this it’, sound with newer indie, britpop, and early velvet underground to form a musical orgasm that nobody can rightly hate. ‘Life is Simple in the Moonlight’, will move you, I didn’t think they were cross-generational until my dad said WTF is that? It sounds like Bowie.

Originally, I was going to rant about how much I hate the March Madness bullshit, but aren’t you glad I decided to gush about The Strokes instead? I believe they steal from The Cure on, ‘Two Kinds of Happiness’, but nobody cares as long as it sounds good, and will people please stop bitching about Julians Voice, its great, you just don’t like the effect on it

If you like Vampire Weekend, MGMT, The Velvet Underground, or just about anything in the 80s or 90s, this is an album for you. Also, you Christians that still waste your time praying, pray that The Strokes never break up or go on this long of a break again. If anything, its bad for the economy, so pray away!