First of all, I’m a fan. And a small part of anything I say about this band is because I have seen them twice already, I love all their albums, and their reunion was more important than any of my cousins to me.

Is This It.

Room on Fire.

First Impressions of Earth.

Angles.

I put it this way, because I don’t feel I even need to speak to the greatness of the first three, although drastically different, history will tell us that all three were of our generation’s best works. ‘Is This It’, garners the most acclaim, but they all are equally deserving in my book.

So, why am I giving The Strokes a ‘verbal blowjob’? Because they had the chance to completely fuck everything up, they(all but 1), released solo albums during the hiatus, which exemplifies how talented they all are. They bring everything to the table, and everything that middle America hates!

That last bit makes it so much sweeter, so many people can’t take the fact the five art school kids formed the new great band to rock the world. To them, I give a resounding middle finger, because The Strokes have the swagger of Oasis(Liam), and the brains(Noel), of Radiohead, and they are modern rock geniuses.

In fact, if you’ve not heard of The Strokes, I half-want to slap you. You lack the creative functions that a normal human should have, and at least you should defer to the, “I don’t get it, but I understand why the young people get it”, response. Also, Fuck You.

Rolling Stone had an article about how 2010 was a terrible year for Rock, and it was, the concerts got cancelled, there were few great albums, but 2011 is the resurrection. The only one that counts anyway, and we should revel in it!

U2, Foo Fighters, Radiohead, The Strokes, Coldplay, and countless others have finally got their shit together and recorded new material. Us rock fans have to make this Pop/Rap fad go away. Not that there aren’t great songs in the genre, but you have to realize the economics of the situation!

If you say to your boyfriend, “That’s too much for a Concert, aren’t we going to Cancun?”, Not only do I want to punch you in the face(and I don’t support violence against women), but what an ignorant statement. Have you ever had Dave Grohl throw sweat on your face? Obviously you haven’t, and its much better than date nite.

Have you ever actually noticed that Thom Yorke has a lazy eye? Does it matter? He writes the best songs on the planet, FUCK YOU.

Have you ever gotten a semi-homosexual glance from Brandon Boyd? No, you haven’t, and it’s awesome, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Has the Swedish band The Hives, ever made you wish you would have learned guitar at 12? NO, GO CLEAN THE DOG.

Has your gay uncle ever brought up, in family conversation that he saw Michael Stipe in Greenwich Village? THIS IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE A, I HAVE A BLACK FRIEND REFERENCE

Live music is something that many people just do not understand, and I hate that they don’t understand it, because I don’t understand them. There is no set cost to a life-experience. People spend ungodly(And I’m not sure about the existence of “GOD”) amounts of money on a wedding, but can’t take in in the ass from ticketmaster for 69$?

Well now I’m ramblin’ again, this is gonna be a good year, whether you casual music fans like it or not. But we’re gonna have something to rub it in your face at the end, we won’t be talking about dinner parties. It will be all about how many times we got spit on, punched, pushed, thrown, rode on, crowds that shared our same passion. Take that, Sex.