I got a new watch for X-mas and I love it, reminds me of a Mercedes, color wise, and I’ll never own one of those. Not that I don’t have confidence in German engineering, because I do, but if I have money someday, I’m goin’ to Japan for a luxury car. Honda/Acura had me sold long ago, and they haven’t done anything to dissuade me (lookin’ at you Toyota).

But as for the tick, I cannot sleep with even the most minute noise coming from anywhere. I have ears that are way to sensitive is my diagnosis, but that’s another story. Literally this watch sits on my desk, and if I don’t fall asleep before I hear it, I hear it….until I get outta bed and cover it with a bunch of clothing.

This sounds like what an insane person would do. I am totally not cursing my sensitive ears, wouldn’t be able to love Radiohead without them. But at the same time it’s like what the fuck? Why is there not a silent watch in 2011? What benefit is there of a watch that still makes a noise?

So it brings me to an important point, how far have we really come? (This is very melo-dra, considering one man has lost nights of sleep to clocks and watches).

I feel we’ve been on a bit of a progress roller coaster over the course of human history, none of it has had concern for people who cannot sleep from watches.

The Super Ancient Age: Farming, tribes, cities, language, pottery, written word.
The Ancient Age: Greek Philosophy, Homer’s Odyssey, The Iliad, Alexander.
Rome: Vestil Virgins (lol) Empire, Architecture copyright violations, Caesar, Aqueducts, Roads, Connections with the East, Legionaries, Gladiators, Trade Networks.
Middle Ages: Catholic Church fucks Rome, ppl throw shit from windows=sanitation.
Renaissance: Cool to be gay again, Great art, Great writing, Great music. The Dutch Ruled.
Industrial Rev: Cool to be rich, Sucked to be poor. Cheaper products. Changed the World.
Post WW2: Sucked to be anyone other than USA or USSR.
Modern Age: Say hello to ASIA!

That was incredibly generalized, but not too far from correct, in a joking manner. Alas, no big demand for silent watches. The Swiss can launder money, conceal huge amounts of stolen merchandise under international disclosure laws, even make good pocket knives. But, have no interest in making silent watches.

In conclusion this was a self-indulgent pseudo-crap, that I decided to take on the internet. I hope my grammatical correctness makes up for my complete lack of couth. And also, Fuck you to the spell check program that wordpress.com has chosen, because COUTH, still has a red squiggly underline, it might be an old word, but we still use the.